Psychs and Fake Smiles
For the last few months, I've been seeing a new psych. Every time I mention starting my job, she says, "enjoy your freedom while you have it, because soon you'll be back in the fray" ~not her exact words, but a rendition of such~ My first thought is always, why does this sound like a threat? Then I just chuckle and flash a fake smile. I really hate it. It's true, but don't remind me so consistently, please.
Luckily, the meds she gave me protect me some from the dread I would've felt this time last year. I am existing now as a wide-eyed, humming blob. The hum is not of a negative source. It is simply a hum that shows I am still alive. We shall see soon what that hum is like when properly put to the test. I try not to feel my thoughts about it all.